The following is a link to a copy of a complaint filed by Ronnie on August 8, 2011:
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11054215/SCN_0004.pdf
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Oppressive Tyranny
I fight against the oppressive rules of the Florida Dept. of Corrections (FDOC) and yes, I often stand to face retaliatory actions by tyrants within the FDOC and their tyranny that rains down upon me. You ask, why fight? That is the question people often ask. But my question is “Why not fight for change?” Why not stand up and let your opinions and voice be heard? Say what you mean, mean what you say. Think for yourself, believe in yourself and stand for something! Yes, I’ve failed miserably in this life and I’m going to continue to fail. However, I’m going to at least try because if I don’t try then I will never know if I could have had success.
We must always stand up for what we think and believe in, no matter the consequences we may suffer. Yes, I stand alone in my battles and I often face the retaliatory behavior of the administration’s tyranny. So if I don’t stand up, I don’t say anything, then who does? The oppression continues because there is silence as no one will stand up and say what is on their mind. Do you not see the problem with that? I see that as a bigger problem. Silence does NOT bring change! It breeds tyrants and tyranny.
In life…we stand for something or fall for anything. I’ve been on that side. I stood for nothing and fell for everything and when I looked in the mirror I didn’t like what I saw. I decided it was time to change. Now I’ll give you this—I need to pick and choose my battles a lot more carefully. I need to lean when to walk away, when to regroup and recognize a losing battle. I have problems with that. I’m head strong, hard headed and those are not good qualities in this environment that I’m in now.
I loath the oppression of these prison administrators who pick and choose what rules they like to follow.
They only follow the ones that most benefit them at the time. This is the case with my contact visits right now. They are misapplying 33-106.735FAC, non-contact visits using it in a way that it is not designed for. It seems to be like that with all the rules. They make them, break them and manipulate them into fitting their agenda and I am supposed to say nothing? The way I see it is if I say nothing, then it’s “My Fault!” for I have allowed them to oppress me, violating their own rules and regulations. I have now become part of the problem instead of part of the solution.
It’s the same with this 33-210.101 (9) Routine mail rule that is making my life oppressively miserable. Not allowing me to run pen pal ads seeking pen pal correspondence. This is just another oppressive rule that has no penal logical justification. I can show you numerous other rules that boarder on the edge of stupidity and are designed to oppress the prisoners, making our already difficult lives that much more difficult. Yes, I will always stand up and fight for what I believe in and if for some reason it costs me my life, so be it. If there is nothing in life worth fighting and dying for, then there surely cannot be a thing worth living for. Fight the good fight. Fight for what you believe in.
In Peace and Love,
Ronnie
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Help Needed!
If you’ve been following my blog then you know about the torture I endured for five days. Well, I just received one of the grievances back and as you can see, the administration is doing everything they can not to investigate this. Please click here to see Exhibit A retaliation/torture grievance. I have appealed this to Tallassee and called for the Inspector general to investigate. This grievance was and is in compliance with Chapter 33-F.A.C. This administration knows that it violated my constitutional rights when they retaliated and tortured me into submission by housing me for 5 days in an ice cold cell with no blanket, mattress, toilet paper soap or anything except my underwear. Please feel free to download this grievance and send it to Amnesty International, as well as the as office of the Inspector General at 501 South Calhoun Street, Tallassee, FL 32399-2500.
Thank your for your time and hopefully your help in bringing attention to this issue.
In peace and love,
Ronnie
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Expectations
Expectations….It’s a good thing when you place them upon yourself. Your expecting yourself to improve…to be better…to do, or accomplish something. In those terms expectations are great. But when you start placing expectations upon others…you are setting them up for failure, at least in your eyes. People very seldom, if ever, live up to the expectations that we put upon them. We in return are angry or disappointed in that person who has failed to live up to our expectations, “demands” that we have place on them! That we have expected them to live up to! By doing this, we have caused ourselves “disappointment” and set that person up to fail in our eyes. We forget that we are all fallible human beings. We neglect to think back on our own mistakes that may be locked in our dark closets before we start judging others for failing to be who or who we expect them to be. I…myself have been guilty of this. I try to catch myself when I find myself placing expectations upon someone. I expect myself to accept you for who and what you are. Your good and your bad. I expect myself not to judge you on anything other than how you treat me. Even if a mistake is made there, I expect myself to forgive you. I try to remember that we are not always going to see eye to eye. There are times it’s best to agree to disagree and respect you even if I don’t like your views or your opinions. I don’t expect anything of anyone other than to be who and what we are, fallible human beings. Think about this the next time you are angry or disappointed in someone who failed to live up to your expectations.
In Peace and Love,
Ronnie
In Peace and Love,
Ronnie
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Unforgiven
You can’t judge me, for I condemn myself. I don’t ask or want forgiveness because I don’t deserve it. I’ve made far too many mistakes in this life. I’ve made more mistakes than 10 men combined. I’ve hurt more people and caused more pain than you could ever imagine. I’ve been a disappointment from day one. I disappoint myself! And I often question the thoughts behind my actions, and I don’t have a good answer. I’m compulsive, self destructive and a walking talking disaster. I question every decision I make just because I am a thought away from another bad decision.
The Apostle Paul wrote in first Corinthians 4:3 that he doesn’t even judge himself. Maybe this is another bad decision judging myself so harshly and condemning myself as being unforgiven. But that’s the way I feel, so why hide what you truly feel about yourself? I know that I am not worthy of forgiveness. I live with a daily guilt that runs so deep. A guilt over Connie’s death, over Sarah, Ann and Adreesa, that just eats me alive. I live with the guilt about the way I treated Lisa, a guilt of allowing Josie to ruin her life. A guilt of not being a better son to my mother. A guilt of Charles Carter’s death, the death of Ronald Willis, the death of my friend Jimbo. I live with the guilt of the death of the couple I hit head on in a car wreck in August 1987 that cost them their life. I live with the guilt of not being more responsible, getting my dumb ass off drugs and alcohol. I live with the guilt that most of you could never possibly imagine. So I am my own judge and I find myself unforgiven. I know my faults, my crimes and my heart, and I am not worthy of forgiveness.
It is written in Exodus 10:20 that God hardened Pharaoh’s heart and because God did this, who is to say he did not show mercy and compassion to Pharaoh? For it is written in Exodus 33:19.b “I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” In my instances, if I am shown compassion and mercy, so be it but “I” know that I do not deserve compassion or mercy. I don’t want prayers. If you want to pray for me, you send my prayers to God for that child that is dying and suffering in your local hospital. Send your prayers to that mother who is praying for that dying child. For there are too many deserving people in this world that deserve a blessing, an answered prayer and I am not one of them. I’ve had contempt in my heart for God, from the moment I came into this world, or at least from when I lost my Big Ma, another painful, guilty memory.
I don’t have the answers to the mysterious questions of life. I only know what I’ve experienced and what I feel, and you can not say this, that or the other. For you have not walked in my shoes, and thank God you haven’t! For this has been one rough path that I wouldn’t wish for anyone else to have to travel. I have no problem showing mercy and compassion to others. For I know the heart of fallible man, and how we sit back and question our own mistakes, our own stupidity. Yes, I probably should be more forgiving to myself, but the reality is, I can’t. I am the unforgiven and I wrote this because of my sister Mary and others who have said “you need to learn to ask for forgiveness.” But I don’t forgive myself, so I can’t ask others to forgive me. All I can say is “I am very sorry for the pain and anguish I have caused, and for the mistakes that I have made.” Sorry doesn’t cut it, it doesn’t fix a broken heart. So yes, I remain to be the unforgiven.
Regretfully submitted,
Ronnie
The Apostle Paul wrote in first Corinthians 4:3 that he doesn’t even judge himself. Maybe this is another bad decision judging myself so harshly and condemning myself as being unforgiven. But that’s the way I feel, so why hide what you truly feel about yourself? I know that I am not worthy of forgiveness. I live with a daily guilt that runs so deep. A guilt over Connie’s death, over Sarah, Ann and Adreesa, that just eats me alive. I live with the guilt about the way I treated Lisa, a guilt of allowing Josie to ruin her life. A guilt of not being a better son to my mother. A guilt of Charles Carter’s death, the death of Ronald Willis, the death of my friend Jimbo. I live with the guilt of the death of the couple I hit head on in a car wreck in August 1987 that cost them their life. I live with the guilt of not being more responsible, getting my dumb ass off drugs and alcohol. I live with the guilt that most of you could never possibly imagine. So I am my own judge and I find myself unforgiven. I know my faults, my crimes and my heart, and I am not worthy of forgiveness.
It is written in Exodus 10:20 that God hardened Pharaoh’s heart and because God did this, who is to say he did not show mercy and compassion to Pharaoh? For it is written in Exodus 33:19.b “I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” In my instances, if I am shown compassion and mercy, so be it but “I” know that I do not deserve compassion or mercy. I don’t want prayers. If you want to pray for me, you send my prayers to God for that child that is dying and suffering in your local hospital. Send your prayers to that mother who is praying for that dying child. For there are too many deserving people in this world that deserve a blessing, an answered prayer and I am not one of them. I’ve had contempt in my heart for God, from the moment I came into this world, or at least from when I lost my Big Ma, another painful, guilty memory.
I don’t have the answers to the mysterious questions of life. I only know what I’ve experienced and what I feel, and you can not say this, that or the other. For you have not walked in my shoes, and thank God you haven’t! For this has been one rough path that I wouldn’t wish for anyone else to have to travel. I have no problem showing mercy and compassion to others. For I know the heart of fallible man, and how we sit back and question our own mistakes, our own stupidity. Yes, I probably should be more forgiving to myself, but the reality is, I can’t. I am the unforgiven and I wrote this because of my sister Mary and others who have said “you need to learn to ask for forgiveness.” But I don’t forgive myself, so I can’t ask others to forgive me. All I can say is “I am very sorry for the pain and anguish I have caused, and for the mistakes that I have made.” Sorry doesn’t cut it, it doesn’t fix a broken heart. So yes, I remain to be the unforgiven.
Regretfully submitted,
Ronnie
About The Prisons
Today is Sunday, July 17, 2011. I haven’t had a recreation since May 24. It has been almost two months now. I’ve filed grievances and everything to no avail. Their laws, their rules, their way! That’s just the way it is…but I will continue to stand up and fight for what I believe is in.
I read Paul’s comment this past week which he left under Life on San Quinten’s Death Row dated 7/1/11 on how he thinks prisoners should be treated. It saddens me to read that. I do also understand the act of a vengeful heart. Although I don’t agree with the torturous conditions that he would like to see enacted. He does have the right to his opinions.
Now Allen Cox wrote a piece and I want you to read it because although the American prison system isn’t quite the torturous environment that Paul would like, this is not a pleasant environment. The American prison system has over 2 million inmates. That is more than any other country in the world.
Why? Because it has become a 60 billion dollar a year corporation that doesn’t give a damn about society, or the inmates. Damn rehabilitation! The prison system needs and desires the inmates to return. The American prison system is a failure to everyone except the rich corporations that profit from it. That is why they allow the thug criminal environment within the prisons and rehabilitation has become a thing of the past. There is nothing easy about life in this environment where every day is a struggle. A place where you constantly have to look over your shoulder never knowing who you can trust, which in most cases that is no one. Right now we are currently dealing with the temperature. Right now in my cell the temperature is in excess of 100 degrees and when you add the Florida humidity into that….well it’s down right “miserable”.
But Paul, we all make mistakes and torture is not the answer. For hate builds upon hate and anger upon anger and creating an angry vindictive inmate is what you are talking about – and my friend, that’s what the American prison system is already doing by allowing rapes, assaults, and abuse by turning a blind eye to the torture you never hear about that takes place in the dark isolated areas of these prisons.
Thank you for allowing me to share this with you and thank you for as well for reading Allen Cox’s essay “Taxpayers of Florida”.
In Peace and Love,
Ronnie
I read Paul’s comment this past week which he left under Life on San Quinten’s Death Row dated 7/1/11 on how he thinks prisoners should be treated. It saddens me to read that. I do also understand the act of a vengeful heart. Although I don’t agree with the torturous conditions that he would like to see enacted. He does have the right to his opinions.
Now Allen Cox wrote a piece and I want you to read it because although the American prison system isn’t quite the torturous environment that Paul would like, this is not a pleasant environment. The American prison system has over 2 million inmates. That is more than any other country in the world.
Why? Because it has become a 60 billion dollar a year corporation that doesn’t give a damn about society, or the inmates. Damn rehabilitation! The prison system needs and desires the inmates to return. The American prison system is a failure to everyone except the rich corporations that profit from it. That is why they allow the thug criminal environment within the prisons and rehabilitation has become a thing of the past. There is nothing easy about life in this environment where every day is a struggle. A place where you constantly have to look over your shoulder never knowing who you can trust, which in most cases that is no one. Right now we are currently dealing with the temperature. Right now in my cell the temperature is in excess of 100 degrees and when you add the Florida humidity into that….well it’s down right “miserable”.
But Paul, we all make mistakes and torture is not the answer. For hate builds upon hate and anger upon anger and creating an angry vindictive inmate is what you are talking about – and my friend, that’s what the American prison system is already doing by allowing rapes, assaults, and abuse by turning a blind eye to the torture you never hear about that takes place in the dark isolated areas of these prisons.
Thank you for allowing me to share this with you and thank you for as well for reading Allen Cox’s essay “Taxpayers of Florida”.
In Peace and Love,
Ronnie
Tax Payers Of Florida by Allen Cox
You better open your eyes and take a look at what is going on in the prison system. Currently your money is being spent to raise an army of mad dog thugs that will one day be released in your back yard. Some of you screamed for tough prison time and that is what you are getting, but you are the ones who will end up being the victims when these men are someday released. This is how things are. You put 1,000 men in prison, most with long sentences. Five hundred of them have no family to help with small amounts of money that is needed to survive and there are no paying jobs. So the 500 are forced to rob and steal and extort protection from the other 500 that do get money from family. After years of surviving this way the 500 thugs are released. They are programmed to rob and steal but it’s YOU who will be their victims now.
The answer to this problem is simple and would save the taxpayers a great deal of money. Bring back the farm system the prison system. The prison system has the manpower to raise most of the food that is needed. Pay the inmates to work instead of forcing them to work for nothing because 90% of what they get paid will be spent right back into the inmate canteen. Each prison could have a factory that makes most of the snacks that are currently sold in the canteen which would create more paying jobs. There is no reason why the taxpayers of Florida should not have the burden of supporting the prison system taken off their shoulders. So, do you want a prisoner who has learned to work for money or one who has had to rob and steal to survive living next door to you?
Allen Cox
The answer to this problem is simple and would save the taxpayers a great deal of money. Bring back the farm system the prison system. The prison system has the manpower to raise most of the food that is needed. Pay the inmates to work instead of forcing them to work for nothing because 90% of what they get paid will be spent right back into the inmate canteen. Each prison could have a factory that makes most of the snacks that are currently sold in the canteen which would create more paying jobs. There is no reason why the taxpayers of Florida should not have the burden of supporting the prison system taken off their shoulders. So, do you want a prisoner who has learned to work for money or one who has had to rob and steal to survive living next door to you?
Allen Cox
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